I happened to not be able to make it to church today. Basically a combination of poor planning and some other random circumstances prevented me from getting there on time and I didn't want to show up very late. Anyway, since doing laundry is something I needed to do and isn't highly entertaining, I have been updating professional information and other exciting stuff. Since that also is less than entertaining, I just had to check my email, and myspace, and facebook... Which is where this entry actually comes in. (end rambling explanation here...)
I got a bulletin from one of my female Myspace friends that has a series of pictures of various women and a corresponding series of "apologies"- basically summed up with the last "apology": "I'm sorry that most guys can't accept a girl for who they really are."
While I could harp on the reality that it is not really an apology to say "I'm sorry that you are not acting the way I think you should," I don't think that is the point of the original writer of this post. (Nor do I see any point in debating that matter any further.) So let's delve into the heart of the matter:
While the majority of items on the list were appearance-based (and I would editorially add-superficial) it is no secret that men are typically a bit caught up by things such as appearance. I would say: however, that the inability to accept others for who they are is in no way limited to men. I could make my own "apology" list for the ways I have seen that men have failed to live up to some women's unrealistic expectations as well, though it would serve no useful purpose.
As men and women we all fall short of God’s glory and as such we suffer, perhaps to varying degrees, from the inability to accept others, and often ourselves. In short, we are all imperfect. Yet, there is a desire for the perfect hidden in all of us. It is expressed differently in each person: some repress it and stick to mediocrity; others try to find it in others, while still others attempt to reach musical, artistic, or athletic perfection. Secretly, we all know perfection is not to be obtained but nonetheless, the desire is there-especially for those of us who are perfectionists. Except for the severely disillusioned, it is safe to assume that most of us are aware of the fact that we are imperfect. In rare moments, some of us realize that only perfection is found in the Maker and Creator; however, that is not typically a thought that spends a great deal of time at the forefront of our minds. As such, we far too often make our way through lives depending on the approval of others to convince us that we are beautiful, smart, funny, athletic, artistic, useful, handsome, sexy, creative, successful, etc and ad naseum... The list could go on and on... Thankfully at times, those words do come-God knew what He was doing when He told us to encourage one another-but they may be absent as well when others don't recognize our talents or even appreciate who we really are.
In those times when we are acutely aware that we don't measure up that we are least able to accept others for who they are. Typically we make one of two choices, or a combination of both. We either regard others as more than ourselves in an unhealthy manner which elevates them to a standard/expectation that they cannot meet for long or we look for others' flaws and shortcomings so that we feel that we are somehow better than they are. Of course we can always work to tear down those whom we think are above us (think celebrities) since, in so doing, we try to elevate ourselves above them.
But how does this tie back in to the original statement? Well, for me, it really doesn't have the intended message-at least not directly. I am reminded to appreciate myself for who I am-which I can only know if I ask God to give me eyes to see me as He does. As I struggle to do so, perhaps I will be less blinded by the things, superficial and otherwise, that keep me from accepting others as they are.
Now there is something worth thinking about! How would seeing myself through God's eyes change how I interact with others?
Perhaps, if I saw myself as God does, I wouldn't assume that the woman whose smile is stuck in my memory and whose character amazes me will reject me simply because I assume from her appearance that she is "out of my league." Perhaps too, I wouldn't be so flattered by the attention of an attractive Godly woman that I would miss the clear indication from God that He has other plans for both of us.
Of course, women see things a bit differently but I can guess how things might be improve drastically for women who see themselves as God does as well. If a woman sees herself as a wonderful creation and her identity comes from God's reality, will she be any more complete dating the handsome, wealthy workaholic, than the slightly overweight, middle manager with an incredible sense of humor and fierce loyalty whom she may have otherwise ignored. Perhaps a woman who may not be as outwardly attractive as her peers will not think that somehow she is less worthy of a loving relationship because she gets less attention. Of course, these examples are oversimplifications-but I think they are worth thinking about.
