Well now that things are calming down in my life somewhat-or rather that I am making time to relax- I have picked back up on doing some reading. I have missed sitting down with a good book and expanding my mind a bit. Most of the time it seems that I am trying to shrink my mind so I don't get bored with the mundaneness of work and at times, my life.
On the recommendation of a female friend who has my copy of "Wild at Heart" I purchased and read "Captivating" by Stasi and John Eldredge. I should start by saying that I expect that there are some of you who would think it is strange for me to read a book written to women. It definitely was a bit unusual and even the gal at Barnes and Noble chuckled when I bought it. That said, I figure that if my reading this book changes your perspective of me greatly, then you dont' know me well anyway so I really don't care.
Anyway, in regards to the book I will admit that it didn't have quite the effect of "Wild at Heart" but that is too be expected as I am not the target audience. I think that I did obtain some useful insights that I hope will improve my interactions with the women I know and will perhaps even help me when I am married some day-assuming I figure out enough to get that far... I think that the most useful thing I learned from the book is that I have a responsibility regarding women's beauty. Now that responsibility is nowhere near the same as that of a man in a romantic relationship but I still have a big responsibility as a single guy. God has been helping me see beauty hidden within or sometime by women I have had the opportunity to meet but I am often loathe to say much for fear of being thought insincere. I do try to encourage but I am sometimes concerned that in my attempts to encourage, I may say things that are so unexpected that the women hearing them will not believe them and will not be encouraged. Or worse, they may think that my encouragement is simply my attempts to win them over.
I guess that the book reminded me that it is okay for me to build deep relationships with women and take big risks to encourage them-even if it does make them suspect my intentions. Guarding their hears is important as is guarding mine and there are some things I am working to change, but on the same token, showing Christlike love requires vulnerability and it is going to have to hurt sometimes. Either way, my job, to some extent is to help them see their own beauty-a tall order and I am glad that the responsibility isn't fully mine and the only One who can do it completely is the Lord.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Saturday, December 03, 2005
Esoteric
Tonight I allowed myself to go to church in order to escape from the self-enforced house arrest I have inlicted on my being this weekend in a somewhat futile attempt to force myself to study. I also allowed a trip to Panera with friends to get some dinner. I was actually in good spirits for a bit which was a refreshing change for me lately. My sense of humor was largely unchecked and I really enjoyed myself with some relatively meaningless banter. I also managed not to pick on my roommate, who was sitting next to me and interrupted several times as he is generally in the tendency of doing. But I digress... I suppose I should get back to studying while the hour is not yet late and I have half a brain remaining. I can look forward to Tuesday afternoon as pass or fail (which I won't know for as long as 12 weeks) I will be able to properly enjoy the Christmas season that I love so much.
Licensure Exam Fun
Well I think the world would be best served by my blogging on topics lacking substance-more the Dave Barry approach than the cynical approach I take too often. That said, the world doesn't read my blog so I will do what I please to some extent.
Anyway, I am taking a short break from studying for my attempt at passing the two sections of my Landscape Architecture Licensing Exam that I failed in June. Looking over my score report which basically tells me useful things such as "failed to apply basic mathematics" and "Needs to work on understanding of problem statement." Talk about useful remarks... I am really trying not to be bitter but considering that in my job I review plans by licensed landscape architects and make corrections, it is very frustrating to have this exam be such a stumbling block to me. I fear that the more real world experience I get, the harder it will be to pass. I realize that I failed less comprehensively than I remembered when I first got the report. I suppose that means that there is some home of me passing at least one of the sections Monday or Tuesday. I should mention, however, that my hope should be in the Lord and not in my own ability but I suppose that therein lies yet another vestige of my immaturity and lack of faith. There is a part of me that feels that I do not deserve to pass since I have not studied laboriously for the last 4-5 months. That is ridiculous, though a bit more preparation wouldn't hurt, and I need to remember that I serve a God who used a Man with a slow tongue to part the Red Sea...
Anyway, I am taking a short break from studying for my attempt at passing the two sections of my Landscape Architecture Licensing Exam that I failed in June. Looking over my score report which basically tells me useful things such as "failed to apply basic mathematics" and "Needs to work on understanding of problem statement." Talk about useful remarks... I am really trying not to be bitter but considering that in my job I review plans by licensed landscape architects and make corrections, it is very frustrating to have this exam be such a stumbling block to me. I fear that the more real world experience I get, the harder it will be to pass. I realize that I failed less comprehensively than I remembered when I first got the report. I suppose that means that there is some home of me passing at least one of the sections Monday or Tuesday. I should mention, however, that my hope should be in the Lord and not in my own ability but I suppose that therein lies yet another vestige of my immaturity and lack of faith. There is a part of me that feels that I do not deserve to pass since I have not studied laboriously for the last 4-5 months. That is ridiculous, though a bit more preparation wouldn't hurt, and I need to remember that I serve a God who used a Man with a slow tongue to part the Red Sea...
Friday, November 25, 2005
Post Thanksgiving Stupor-Not really
I had a very relaxing Thanksgiving yesterday with a good portion of my relatives from my dad's side of the family. We started eating around 2 or so and broke the meal up into courses until sometime in the evening. Of course we have the appropriate wine with each course. What a pleasure it is to have wine selected by someone who knows what they are doing-as opposed to a hack like me...
Today was a day to chill around the house and of course eat turkey sandwiches and pie in copious quantities-though I did go shopping in an attempt to procure some dress shoes. As usual my oafish feet made my trip unsuccessful but it was good to get out of the house.
On a different note, a very good friend of mine stopped by with her mother. It was good to catch up with her-especially considering she lives in DC and I can never seem to get my act together to go visit her down there. Consequently, I only ever seem to see her up here. She is an amazing young lady and I am consistently impressed by her ability to make her way in a tough business and keep challenging herself to go beyond her comfort zone. Honestly, at times I feel like a slouch compared to her though I guess we are both working our way into doing jobs that we really will love some day. I think that I could definitely stand to learn from her and perhaps borrow a little of her hutzpah...
Anyway, I should go be social with my relatives. Perhaps more on various and sundry later.
Today was a day to chill around the house and of course eat turkey sandwiches and pie in copious quantities-though I did go shopping in an attempt to procure some dress shoes. As usual my oafish feet made my trip unsuccessful but it was good to get out of the house.
On a different note, a very good friend of mine stopped by with her mother. It was good to catch up with her-especially considering she lives in DC and I can never seem to get my act together to go visit her down there. Consequently, I only ever seem to see her up here. She is an amazing young lady and I am consistently impressed by her ability to make her way in a tough business and keep challenging herself to go beyond her comfort zone. Honestly, at times I feel like a slouch compared to her though I guess we are both working our way into doing jobs that we really will love some day. I think that I could definitely stand to learn from her and perhaps borrow a little of her hutzpah...
Anyway, I should go be social with my relatives. Perhaps more on various and sundry later.
Monday, November 14, 2005
Verbiage
So I had a really great weekend up at the alma mater. I went to PSU to see a whole bunch of my friends from the a cappella group I was part of when I was in school. I also met some members who were in the group before me as well as the present group. It was a lot of work learning a bunch of songs I had never sung but it was awesome to be singing again. I really miss that kind of thing. I guess singing with the choruses might be cool but I dont' really want to compete and singing with a bunch of older guys just doesnt' have the same appeal.
It was a difficult thing seeing so many people whom I havent' seen in quite awhile. Several people I haven't even really kept in touch with but when we were all together it was like things were still the same (except they aren't). Several of the group are engaged or married and most everyone who graduated around when I did or before has a real job. It was hard to see so many people I wanted to catch up with while knowing that I only had so much time during the weekend to do so. I did get an extra opportunity on Sunday because I was wandering around State College and ran into one of my friends from the group who lives in Erie. We then ran into another girl from the group. She lives down in Arlington so you would think I would see her more often. It probably doesnt' help that I was really interested in her when we were in the group together and I let her know that in no uncertain terms. It was cool just chatting with her and though I am not sure I ever feel completely normal around someone I had feelings towards at one point, I managed not to be too stupid and actually allowed her to get some works in edgewise when we were talking... Oy vey. I guess that is all I have to say about that for now.
Well actually I do have something else: I have been incredibly blessed to have made the acquaintance of so many of the amazing Godly women I have had the opportunity to get to know at PSU and more recently, at Grace. While at times it can be frustrating since I have formed friendships and really try to serve my female friends-sometimes to my own detriment. Yet, I am very thankful for the opportunities to serve and to build them at at times. They have also challenged me and I hope that the things that they have taught me will some day benefit the woman who will be a greater friend than I have ever had before and hopefully ever will-my wife. I really don't want to go there though-some things are best kept out of blogs and instead written in private journals...
It was a difficult thing seeing so many people whom I havent' seen in quite awhile. Several people I haven't even really kept in touch with but when we were all together it was like things were still the same (except they aren't). Several of the group are engaged or married and most everyone who graduated around when I did or before has a real job. It was hard to see so many people I wanted to catch up with while knowing that I only had so much time during the weekend to do so. I did get an extra opportunity on Sunday because I was wandering around State College and ran into one of my friends from the group who lives in Erie. We then ran into another girl from the group. She lives down in Arlington so you would think I would see her more often. It probably doesnt' help that I was really interested in her when we were in the group together and I let her know that in no uncertain terms. It was cool just chatting with her and though I am not sure I ever feel completely normal around someone I had feelings towards at one point, I managed not to be too stupid and actually allowed her to get some works in edgewise when we were talking... Oy vey. I guess that is all I have to say about that for now.
Well actually I do have something else: I have been incredibly blessed to have made the acquaintance of so many of the amazing Godly women I have had the opportunity to get to know at PSU and more recently, at Grace. While at times it can be frustrating since I have formed friendships and really try to serve my female friends-sometimes to my own detriment. Yet, I am very thankful for the opportunities to serve and to build them at at times. They have also challenged me and I hope that the things that they have taught me will some day benefit the woman who will be a greater friend than I have ever had before and hopefully ever will-my wife. I really don't want to go there though-some things are best kept out of blogs and instead written in private journals...
Thursday, November 03, 2005
To be or not to be?
Did you ever run into someone who was so into their work that you wanted to do what they were doing?
A couple of Saturdays ago I went to go look at ornamental grasses at a nursery north of here-Kurt Bluemel Inc. I had the opportunity to meet Mr. Bluemel and he showed me some of the plants that he has collected in his travels. He had grasses from Argentina and Africa and other kinds of plants as well. I guess that was the most inspiring part of my visit was how much he loves his work. His passion for Ornamental Grasses is contagious. Now I have no intention of spending my life in a nursery propogating plants, but I would like to be that passionate about my life's work. I am sick of people who tell me that I am just starting out and therefore I will have to work awhile before I get to do things I like. The people who say that it is just a job are about as bad... I really need to get at looking into other firms in the area. There are a lot of interesting firms that could be cool to work at-I guess that I is easier to leave things as they are-even when changing things will be better in the long run...
A couple of Saturdays ago I went to go look at ornamental grasses at a nursery north of here-Kurt Bluemel Inc. I had the opportunity to meet Mr. Bluemel and he showed me some of the plants that he has collected in his travels. He had grasses from Argentina and Africa and other kinds of plants as well. I guess that was the most inspiring part of my visit was how much he loves his work. His passion for Ornamental Grasses is contagious. Now I have no intention of spending my life in a nursery propogating plants, but I would like to be that passionate about my life's work. I am sick of people who tell me that I am just starting out and therefore I will have to work awhile before I get to do things I like. The people who say that it is just a job are about as bad... I really need to get at looking into other firms in the area. There are a lot of interesting firms that could be cool to work at-I guess that I is easier to leave things as they are-even when changing things will be better in the long run...
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