Reading

Well now that things are calming down in my life somewhat-or rather that I am making time to relax- I have picked back up on doing some reading. I have missed sitting down with a good book and expanding my mind a bit. Most of the time it seems that I am trying to shrink my mind so I don't get bored with the mundaneness of work and at times, my life.

On the recommendation of a female friend who has my copy of "Wild at Heart" I purchased and read "Captivating" by Stasi and John Eldredge. I should start by saying that I expect that there are some of you who would think it is strange for me to read a book written to women. It definitely was a bit unusual and even the gal at Barnes and Noble chuckled when I bought it. That said, I figure that if my reading this book changes your perspective of me greatly, then you dont' know me well anyway so I really don't care.

Anyway, in regards to the book I will admit that it didn't have quite the effect of "Wild at Heart" but that is too be expected as I am not the target audience. I think that I did obtain some useful insights that I hope will improve my interactions with the women I know and will perhaps even help me when I am married some day-assuming I figure out enough to get that far... I think that the most useful thing I learned from the book is that I have a responsibility regarding women's beauty. Now that responsibility is nowhere near the same as that of a man in a romantic relationship but I still have a big responsibility as a single guy. God has been helping me see beauty hidden within or sometime by women I have had the opportunity to meet but I am often loathe to say much for fear of being thought insincere. I do try to encourage but I am sometimes concerned that in my attempts to encourage, I may say things that are so unexpected that the women hearing them will not believe them and will not be encouraged. Or worse, they may think that my encouragement is simply my attempts to win them over.

I guess that the book reminded me that it is okay for me to build deep relationships with women and take big risks to encourage them-even if it does make them suspect my intentions. Guarding their hears is important as is guarding mine and there are some things I am working to change, but on the same token, showing Christlike love requires vulnerability and it is going to have to hurt sometimes. Either way, my job, to some extent is to help them see their own beauty-a tall order and I am glad that the responsibility isn't fully mine and the only One who can do it completely is the Lord.

Esoteric

Tonight I allowed myself to go to church in order to escape from the self-enforced house arrest I have inlicted on my being this weekend in a somewhat futile attempt to force myself to study. I also allowed a trip to Panera with friends to get some dinner. I was actually in good spirits for a bit which was a refreshing change for me lately. My sense of humor was largely unchecked and I really enjoyed myself with some relatively meaningless banter. I also managed not to pick on my roommate, who was sitting next to me and interrupted several times as he is generally in the tendency of doing. But I digress... I suppose I should get back to studying while the hour is not yet late and I have half a brain remaining. I can look forward to Tuesday afternoon as pass or fail (which I won't know for as long as 12 weeks) I will be able to properly enjoy the Christmas season that I love so much.

Licensure Exam Fun

Well I think the world would be best served by my blogging on topics lacking substance-more the Dave Barry approach than the cynical approach I take too often. That said, the world doesn't read my blog so I will do what I please to some extent.

Anyway, I am taking a short break from studying for my attempt at passing the two sections of my Landscape Architecture Licensing Exam that I failed in June. Looking over my score report which basically tells me useful things such as "failed to apply basic mathematics" and "Needs to work on understanding of problem statement." Talk about useful remarks... I am really trying not to be bitter but considering that in my job I review plans by licensed landscape architects and make corrections, it is very frustrating to have this exam be such a stumbling block to me. I fear that the more real world experience I get, the harder it will be to pass. I realize that I failed less comprehensively than I remembered when I first got the report. I suppose that means that there is some home of me passing at least one of the sections Monday or Tuesday. I should mention, however, that my hope should be in the Lord and not in my own ability but I suppose that therein lies yet another vestige of my immaturity and lack of faith. There is a part of me that feels that I do not deserve to pass since I have not studied laboriously for the last 4-5 months. That is ridiculous, though a bit more preparation wouldn't hurt, and I need to remember that I serve a God who used a Man with a slow tongue to part the Red Sea...